The Matter of Chatter

“Recognize and minimize the chatter in your head that is holding you back.”

~Lisa Nichols


Do you speak the language of self-limitation?

Ever find yourself sabotaging your own personal dreams for success and happiness?

Perhaps, you believe the naysayers more than you believe yourself?

You feel as if there is a war going on in your head and you’re losing faith in your ability to win.

This is a dark place to be. It is, however, a familiar scenario. At some point, every person alive has had to deal with “The Matter of Chatter.” The pesky bug that swarms your brain, reducing ability to embrace your unique and divine potential. You’ve heard yourself saying, “Oh, I’m just not good enough” or “Great things don’t happen to people like me.” The kind of talk that makes you want to climb under a rock and stay there. Hiding seems easier, giving up seems far more appealing than getting up. Words that devalue become the story holding you back from experiencing a life of exceptional quality. The chatter has control and you believe every word. Indeed, the tongue is sharper than the sword as chatter cuts tiny pieces from your spirit. It peels away your potential.

Recognize and minimize the chatter in your head that is holding you back.

Identifying the place/s within where this chatter originates is, I believe, key to minimizing (and ultimately eliminating) self-depleting thought. I’d like to share with you an example from my own life as an international adoptee. It is a low-point in my memory: one of the lowest places I’ve been, floating between the two distant shores of England and America. I was in my teens and visiting my birthmother in the UK. It was a summer afternoon and I was enjoying time in her garden. I still can remember the smell of grass, freshly cut, and flowers that perfumed the air. I can see, vividly, my birthmother’s bare legs pressed against the green grass as she held her face to the sun and bathed in its warmth. I felt safe in that moment, safe to let my guard down and be her daughter, for once, trusting her. It was at that very second when a neighbor entered the garden from across the road. She was eager to meet me, my mother’s visitor.

“Tell me, who do we have here?”

My birthmother opened her eyes and looked at me. I stared back, waiting for her to respond. I could see panic in her eyes.

“This is Michelle, she is a relative from the US.”

I said nothing in that moment. I could feel my young heart breaking into a million tiny pieces. When the neighbor left, I asked my birthmother,

“Why didn’t you tell her that I am your daughter?”

“It is personal and I didn’t think she needed to know.”

It has taken time and deep discovery for me to understand that in my birthmother’s garden is where chatter took root in my head. The voice whispering: “You are not worthy of even being claimed by your own birthmother. You are invisible, erasable.” What stuck with me were the words, not worthy and erasable. This chatter repeated itself in my brain thousands of times, over the course of many years to follow. No matter what I achieved in life, I didn’t feel that I deserved it. When you don’t deserve something, it can be taken away, erased. I hid behind my own shadow, suppressing my greatness, until the day I decided that the pain of the chatter could not equal the pain of living only a small sliver of my potential.

I identified, and began to minimize, this chatter the moment I allowed myself to be vulnerable and go deeper. I wanted more and the fire in my belly would not let me rest. I wrote down the chatter, along with any other self-limiting noise I had experienced, on a piece of paper. I then crossed each bit of chatter out, minimizing it from the page, and replacing it with a new mantra:


As I repeated these words, day in and day out, I found that chatter not only became minimized, it was eventually eliminated. The bigness of my future took over the smallness of my past.

The more I practiced this exercise, the more my world expanded around me. I was transforming right before my own eyes! I had freed myself from that moment in my birthmother’s garden and entered my own bountiful meadow. Nothing was lacking in this new place. I felt released from my chains and able to stand tall in the truth of me, the raw and honest truth.

You transform your life the moment you honestly and authentically embrace the beauty of being perfectly imperfect.

I took a deep breath and inhaled forgiveness. Forgiving my birthmother for her denial that day, understanding that it never had anything to do with me.

Forgiving the woman in the mirror, for the self-inflicted bruising that I had endured for things that were completely out of my control. Embracing my story and the imperfections of my life, clear in the knowledge that without them I would not be who I am today.

It was, in all honesty, scary to face the chatter. It was, however, necessary! The necessity far outweighed the fear.

Are you experiencing chatter, right now, that is holding you back? Please know that the past will never equal the glorious potential of your future! Everything can change at this very moment, in the blink of an eye, with the snap of a finger. Are you ready to transform your life?

Transformation requires you to stop and reflect. It demands that you go within and listen to the person that is your best friend and advisor ~ YOU.

Transformation asks of you to be stronger than the fear, wiser than the chatter.

Chatter only lives if we give it permission to. It is a choice that is, all too often, unconscious.

Transformation, on the other hand, is a conscious decision. The outcome is freedom and living a life that far exceeds your dreams.


Today, I face the chatter that keeps me from claiming my greatness. Chatter is only babble and I have given it credibility for far too long. It will no longer drown out my potential. I am ready to transform my life. Today, I am strong enough and wise enough to succeed. 

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Cheryl Therrien

    I could not have said it better myself. :)

    • letherbegreater

      Thank you, Cheryl! I appreciate your kind comment and support. Empower the day!

  • Nancy Lundy

    Thank you so much. This article couldn’t have come at a better time. God bless!

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